Understand the sadness of the children after the breakup of your marriage

Little can be done to prepare children to such devastating news for them such as the breakup of her parents.

The same separation or divorce are unexpected events for the couple, warning that despite a deterioration in their relationship always hoped that somehow that dynamic change and everything is settled, until it reached a point is shown as an impossibility.

In many cases focused on their own pain and despair over the failure of their relationship, parents are not able to tell the grief of their children to the new life they have to start. While it is inevitable, it is possible for parents trying to connect emotionally with their small and easy journey through the pain, so that its impact is minimal.

What should I try to convey to children in this "dark period"?

Besides making children always remember that your parents will be there whatever happens, they should now be aware that the loss is a part of life, it is inevitable and the only alternative is overcome it and face the future with a smile.

In any case, if children notice how, despite what happened, both parents are there for them, gradually the pain and the feeling of loss will be mitigated, and a time will come naturally and accept without reservation the new situation .

But for this you must understand, first, the multiple losses that represents a marriage break for a little:

- First, the child is exposed to a lower living with both parents. You may not use both at any time and probably his contacts with some of them are reduced to a set visitation (except in cases of joint custody).

- On the other hand, could take place for certain family estrangement. In fact, the child could end up longing for his uncles, cousins ​​and especially their grandparents.

- Might even have a change in the residence of either parent, which in turn motivated a change of school, with the consequent need for the child to make new friends, precisely at a moment of shyness and life of special withdrawal as a result of the breakup of their parents.

Minimize or even prevent these signs of loss is in your hands and your former partner. Whatever the reasons that drove you to realize your separation or divorce, try to it does not affect more than necessary for your little ones.

Note that the weak are and who, therefore, could suffer most from the effects of your break. Try to understand their feelings and listen to your concerns, complaints and concerns. It will help enormously.



Begoña Alcaine Basin

www.a-divorcios.com